*PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CONSULT FIRST WITH YOUR DOCTOR. THIS IS ONLY MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
This post is a long time coming and it’s all about COFFEE ENEMAS. Yes, basically Starbucks up your butt. Sorry hahaha but figured I’d cut right to the chase and get past all the weirdness. This at home detox has seriously changed my life. My mom, sister, and I have been doing them for the past 4 years and haven’t looked back. (Look back at it? ;)) Got a stomach ache? Coffee enemas. Hungover? Coffee enema. Sinus infection or cold? Coffee enema. Breaking out? Coffee enema. Feeling bloated and about to get in a bikini? Coffee enema. Having trouble going to the bathroom? Coffee enema. They are like the cure all for anything. It kind of reminds me of the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and the Dad says “put some windex on it” for anything. I’d say that’s how I am about coffee enemas. I mean, as you can already tell, I think they are amaze. Ok, here we go.
I first heard about coffee enemas when my Mom went to a holistic doctor in Mexico to learn about The Gerson Therapy.
I know, sounds super wack. Let me explain. The Gerson Therapy, taught at The Gerson Institute, is an alternative, non-toxic treatment for cancer and other chronic diseases, check them out HERE. This 100% holistic and natural method to treating disease is not approved by the United States government as it is not surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy. So, my Mom spent a few weeks right on the Mexico/California border where a ton of holistic doctors can legally practice this approach to medicine. One of the main components to the therapy is coffee enemas, to detox the liver and rid the body of chemotherapy.
After doing a ton of research on my own by well established Naturopathic doctors, I decided I needed to try coffee enemas myself. They are HUGE in the holistic health world. Check out what Dr. Josh Axe thinks of coffee enemas here. Also, they are big in the celebrity health cult too- why do you think Gwenyth Paltrow has a coffee enema kit in the Goop detox box? IMO, they are legit guys. And of course, I’m not here to give you all the science behind them, just here to share my own personal and positive experience with them.
Of course, always talk to your doctor and do your own research. I am certainly no medical professional, just a gal looking to test out as many holistic health hacks as I can. And if you’re in need of a more natural approach to your everyday health, this post here I wrote about how to find an alternative medicine doctor may help!
WHAT IS A COFFEE ENEMA?
A natural type of colon and liver cleanse that has been around since the late 1800s! As Dr. Josh Axe notes, “First made famous by the Gerson Institute in the 1950s, when it began using coffee enemas as part of natural cancer treatments, others are now turning to this procedure for various ailments — especially those that don’t respond well to traditional treatments or prescription medications.”
HOW DOES IT WORK?
I like to explain this in a “coffee enemas for dummies” kind of way, like with everything else on my blog because that’s how I personally need this stuff explained. The coffee enema removes toxins accumulated in the liver, your organ that is 100% responsible for processing all toxins in the body. So when someone is too toxic, the liver can become overloaded and slows down. Then, disease occurs. (Basically which is why drinking alcohol to get blackout is SO TERRIBLE for you. Oh the things I wish I could have explained to my college self.)
Rather than drinking the coffee like you would with a normal cup of joe where the digestive system has to break it all down, there are massive benefits to inserting the coffee to go directly to the organs you need, the colon and liver. The caffeine can then instantly speed up the detoxification process in the liver.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
- Enema bucket. Linked in my Amazon Shop HERE!
- Organic and light roast coffee. Coffee is one of the most heavily chemically sprayed crops so def buy organic. Also, it MUST be a light roast. If it’s dark, it could cause a strain on the internal organs and I always want to do this as safe as possible.
- Distilled water.
- Coconut oil.
INSTRUCTIONS TO COOK THE COFFEE:
Bring 12 ounces of distilled water to a boil on the stove. Add 3 small tablespoons of coffee to the boiling water. Let cook on high for 4 minutes, Then, turn down so it can simmer on the lowest possible setting for 15 minutes.
Next, strain your coffee in a small strainer where it will catch the grinds. I like to strain it into a big glass measuring cup. You should have about 8 ounces of coffee on average after that. Then, you will add distilled water to it until you have 24-32 ounces of coffee/distilled water mixture. This is what you will put into your enema bucket to take into the body. Cray right?
THE DOWN AND DIRTY, NITTY GRITTY DETAILS:
Ok, let’s get super personal. This is how I perform a coffee enema on myself. (We’re going to feel real close after.) Once the mixture has been poured into the enema bucket, I move the clip on the bucket to be squeezing the tube closed so the coffee water mixture can not come out. Maybe look at the enema bucket before reading this fully through. I think the visual component there will help HA!
Then, take a small amount of coconut oil and add to the tip of the tube that will be inserted into the body. I lay down on a yoga mat in the bathroom on my right side (where the liver is). This is SUPER DUPER IMPORTANTE, k? I repeat, lay so the right side of the body is the one on the floor. I usually have a small pillow to lay my head on and a stool that is a bit higher than my hip when laying on the floor. This way, I can sit the enema bucket on it and the coffee/water mixture can come in at a slight angle down. Not necessary, just something I prefer. You can also just hold the bucket on your left hip that’s facing up if you don’t have a step stool handy. Remember, the tube is still closed at this point.
EXECUTION – aka doin’ the damn thing lolz
Laying down, input the tube slowly in until you can’t really push anymore. You’ll know the feeling. Don’t freak. It doesn’t hurt at all and it only goes in like the length of your fingernail, half an inch, uber small. It’s seriously a piece of cake but I know it’s the part that is most scary haha. Finally, release the lock on the tube and let the water/coffee start slowly entering. I try to hold the full amount for up to 12 minutes before releasing. The body also works it way up to that.
As the mixture is in the colon area and goes to the liver to detox, there is a slight cramping feeling. Try to breathe through all that because the longer the coffee is in you, the more it’s able to detoxify. And don’t worry, stuff is not just going to go everywhere and come out of you at any minute when you get up. You’ll have control. I don’t know how else to explain that but I know a lot of my friends had that worry hahaha. OK, that’s it!
Feel free to contact me privately if you want to ask any embarrassing questions. I got a ton of my friends hooked on these so I feel like I’ve heard it all and nothing will shock me. I’d love nothing more than to help.
Next post I promise won’t be as graphic. Until next time.